Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
