no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
