Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
