my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
