therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
