Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
