when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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