Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
