just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
