Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
