I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
