I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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