the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
