ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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