allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
