For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
