happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
