When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
