my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
