I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
