I bet he comes in French.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
