I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
