rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
