Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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