Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Randomize
