I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
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Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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