i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
