You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My dick has a subreddit
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
