I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
