Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
