i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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