OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
