Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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