she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
