fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
