Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
