I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Non-Jews are for practice
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
