You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
