Pappa wants mamma naked
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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