You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
