guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
