So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
