But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
