I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
