I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
