we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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