no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
