Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
