Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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