is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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