It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
